Seeing his face

It's been a year since we traveled to Ethiopia. Can you believe it? One year ago we were waiting to meet our beautiful little boy. I wore a blue shirt-the same shirt that I had on in the photo I sent him. I put coco butter thinking maybe he'd recognize the scent the next day and then when we returned to Ethiopia to bring him home. When we walked in the room we knew right away who he was. It's hard to mistake a baby with a mohawk.

His lack of expression and emotion concerned me. He didn't seem as responsive as the other babies. I thought we were going to be in for a rough start. I let him just take it all in for a few minutes before picking him up. I changed him into an outfit I had bought for him. Joel blew a raspberry on his cheek and I told him he was going to scare the baby-instead Tesfa let out the first little smile. He seemed to be drawn to his daddy from the very start.

The next day we went back to the care center. I dressed him and changed his diaper. It was a good way to check and make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. I had a friend from our travel group give him a once over-she is a nurse. We watched him chug a cup of formula and were able to hold him a while longer. But after what seemed like just a few minutes Tsion, our social worker walked in, my heart races now just thinking about it. Before she could say anything I turned around, holding tightly on to this little boy hoping I would be his mommy, and started crying. It was time to go. I truly think it was the hardest moment of my life. Court was the following day and we wouldn't be able to see him until our next trip to Ethiopia. His lip started to quiver when I sat him down and I was certain that if he started crying someone would have to physically remove me from the room, but instead he gave his daddy and I a little smile.

The next day was quite a blur-literally since I woke up with a lacerated cornea. Physically I think it is the most pain I have ever endured, but had to pull myself together to get to court. I wasn't able to see court house or the judge but did answer a few questions. And after that we were officially his. Sadly there was no celebrating-we were plucked out of the court house and whisked off to an emergency eye clinic. As sad as I am about missing out on so much the first trip do to my injury I am so glad that I was able to meet my boy and officially be His Mama.