Attachment

People keep asking if Tesfa is attaching. The truth is I'm not sure. How do you know? He does smile at us quite a bit...more than anyone else. But he is too young to reach for us or give us any distinct signs. At this point only a couple of immediate family members have held him and it's only been less then a minute. I guess he doesn't have much choice but to like us since we are the only two meeting his needs.

Is it all in the eyes? That's what some people have said. There are times when his eyes do look super bright and happy. He stares at me less with that look of, "still you???". So I guess maybe that is a good sign. It is nice to wake up to his smiles and jabber.

He screaming fits are far fewer. Although yesterday was a rough day because he did scream until nearly making him self sick before falling asleep in my arms. I don't let him "cry it out". Speaking of which the boy is now awake better go get him.

Parenting is hard work!

Eventhough things are going better then I expected I am still completely worn out at the moment. Tesfa is actually napping now so I get a minute to write. I have so much that I need to do but can't find the time to get it done. The house is a mess, I have photos to edit and I would kill to get a hair cut.

I don't know what I would have done if he was as difficult as I thought he was going to be. I don't know how single moms or moms with little help get anything done!!! Joel has been great. He gets up with Tesfa during the night quite a bit...actually more than I have lately. He is working better hours but he still has long days. This weekend he is going to his sisters to help her move which means I'll have less help then normal. I don't mind much but about 4-5p.m. everyday I am ready to hand Tesfa over to his daddy.

My arms hurt! I didn't think this was going to be a problem since I have worked with kids for two years. Tesfas rapid growth has not given my arms time to keep up. Everyone told me he would catch up quick I just had no idea how quickly! I figure it needs to slow down soon or he'll be 52lbs for his birthday (which btw the party will be April 9). He likes to be held a lot which is good for bonding but I kinda look forward to a time when I can get a day off. I know that sounds awful to say so soon in to parenting and after all the wait but... I do look forward to it. Mostly because I would love to get a hair cut and catch up on photo editing and maybe take a nap.

I think he is hitting many of his milestones for his age. He jabbers like crazy, plays with his tongue, reaches for toys etc... He does not roll over yet and he doesn't care much about his playing with his feet. I'm not overly concerned...not sure if that's because I'm easy going about these things or too lazy to work at it much more then we already do.

Cute Kid, My Boy

It would appear that after two years of complaining about waiting that I have nothing to say. Sorry for anyone who actually follows this blog and expected some sort of deep insight to parenthood. The truth is we are settling in well. Tesfa has grown like a weed. I believe he is around 17 lbs now! Yep, that's 6 lbs in 6 weeks.

I was concerned the first time I saw him. He was on the floor and didn't seem to respond well. He smiled very little and barely moved his head. I was certain we were going to have a hard road ahead of us. And while the next visit went much better I still had concerns. I still can't talk or think about that first trip with out getting teary and emotional. Leaving Tesfa and not knowing when we would return was truly the hardest thing I have ever done.

But when we traveled again a month later it was a much different story. We walked into the room at the care center to see him. He was in his bed and on his tummy. He smiled immediately. His head was held up well on his skinny little arms and shoulders. His social worker commented on how he must be happy to see us because he doesn't generally smile. I don't know it that is the case. Did he have any idea who we were? Hard to say, but it is a nice thought.

The first few weeks at home he would look intently at other people but only smile for Joel and I. Now it may take a few minutes but he will give you a smile that lights up the room. For his sake and ours I am glad to know that he got his birthmothers smile.

Save the Date: March 5, 2011

One Month Home

Tesfa has been home for one month. It seems hard to believe. Sorry I haven't written about the second trip. It's hard to find the words to describe it. I will try to do that soon.

He is making wonderful progress. He's gained nearly 4 lbs in 4 weeks. He is so alert. He blows spit bubbles and jabbers all the time. His smile lights up the room. It feels like he is attaching but it is hard to know for sure. I know attachment isn't a quick thing. It will come with time. Despite what some might say I don't think he knows we are mom and dad quite yet, but he is starting to look for us and listen for our voice.