Another Milestone

Tesfa has gotten himself to sleep 3 times today. More importantly he hit another major milestone. He pulled his first item out of the dishwasher (that was left open to dry). Luckily it was just a steak knife and nothing dangerous.

Hair today...Gone tomorrow....or next month...or next year??

The great debate at the moment is when to cut Tesfa's hair. His hair is long-around 6 inches on top. It is getting so think-you don't notice it until you are washing it but it's thick. So do we cut it? My hope was that with hat weather on its way out I could keep it long and his curls would keep their shape. But after his nap they are slightly less cute and after bed they seem a little frizzy. Maybe it's time to call the experts (aka: Ali) and have a hair intervention.

I went to pick up some take out tonight and stopped into the hair salon next door to the restuarant. It appeared to be black owned and operated. When I walk in everyone turned and looked with a .....curious face (I didn't have doodle with me). They do take young kids. Sooooo maybe?

My biggest concern with cutting it is that he just won't look like a baby anymore. I just can't believe he is such a big boy already.

Melkam Fasika!

Tesfa did great today. He woke up in the best mood and was running from one end of his crib to the other while dancing. He sorta noticed his Easter baskets and found an egg. He was pretty content with just one.

We went to church this morning and part of the service was a special performance. When the dancers/music were going so was Tesfa. He squealed and danced and loved it. He stole their thunder just a little. Considering he would normally be napping I was quite proud. I had the table cloth we got at the Alert Hospital and the mini Mesob Joel bought before we left Ethiopia the first time. I had made Ethiopian food and I thought it turned out really good. Not quite Tiru's but I'll take it. T ate a banana :-( Doesn't he know I made this especially for him?

I thought about his birthfamily a lot. What were they eating today? Were they thinking of him? How were they?

His nap wasn't good which surprised me since he missed his morning nap. Damn teething! There was a little melt down at dinner but other then that he was a champ. Have I mentioned how much I love him?

Holiday Hoopla

So I was thinking about the holidays today. My dear friend Em thinks I'm funny for making such a big deal out of even the littlest holidays. I came to the conclusion that there are 2 reasons why I do this. The first is simple-I worked with kids for nearly 10 years and we always made some sort of holiday decor. The second is a little more complicated-my family.

Our family gatherings as a child took place at my grandparents place. I was blessed to have a grandmother who was so incredible. That is where the happy story ends. My brother, cousins and I would pretty much hide out in a bedroom and avoid the rest of the family. Why? Conflict! It wasnt a family holiday unless someone was screaming about something and someone else (usually my mom) was crying. My grandfather wasn't the nicest guy ever. He wasn't a monster but I don't look back and think wow what a fantastic grandfather I had. He would fight over shit that happened 30 years ago. He wasn't a fan of my father and didn't treat my mother (his daughter) a whole lot better. My grandmother wouldn't stand for his insults and would stand up for whatever family member he decided to start a fight with. My favorite memory (sad but true) is of my grandmother screaming at my grandfather. He had made my brother who was probably 8 at the time cry over something so incredibly stupid. What was it? My grandfather had asked for a small piece of cake and when my brother cut it for him apparently it was too small and my grandpa thought my brother was being selfish. Seriously!

I could go on for days with examples like this but who wants to read about that. The moral of my sad little story? I just don't want my son to ever look back and think of his family like this. I want him to remember mom putting him in silly outfits and making a bigger deal then she should of a holiday. It certainly seems like a much better way to remember your childhood.

Now tomorrow will be fairly simple. Church in the a.m. (yes really). I'm making doro wat and ET cabbage and carrots for lunch. We'll use the mesob/basket and tablecloth we got while in Ethiopia. And for dinner tomorrow we are going to my neighbors church. They are having a big traditional Easter dinner. Maybe we'll even hide a few Easter eggs-although Tesfa won't know to look for them :-)

Tomorrow is Fasika and I'll be thinking of Tesfa's family in Ethiopia. I hope that they find strength to get through, what I imagine will be, a very hard day for them.

Adoption Rocks-for some

I've been trying to read more blogs and articles that talk about adoption from the perspective of the birthmother and from adopt adoptees. I know T is only one but I really wonder how he will view his adoption? Will any future siblings view their adoptions differently? I've seen these really cute shirts that say, Adoption Rocks and after thinking about the questions T will have one day I came to the conclusion that they should sell that shirt with a small version that says, Adoption Sucks. Because it does suck that T won't know his Ethiopian family, it sucks that he is an american but that is not his history, it sucks that he may feel stuck between two countries.

I hope that I am smart enough, loving enough and open enough to listen to what he has to say when he is ready to talk about his adoption. I hope that if he chooses to go to ET and/or to look for his birth family that I will be there by his side.

I often find myself thinking what if she wanted him back? How long before that feeling goes away?

This month seems to be the hardest one for me because Fasika is just over a week away and I can't help but wonder how his BM is going to handle that day. (T was born on Fasika last year)

Handmade Hope

100% of the proceeds will be donated to charity. This quarter Ethiopian Orphan Relief has been selected to be on the receiving end of their amazing generosity. I've started buying things for T's Easter basket.




etsy.com/people/handmadehopeshop (for some reason the blog isn't letting make it a link---sorry)

I said Doctor!

So we saw the Dr. today for T's 12 month visit. He did well. He is 23 lbs on the dot and 30 inches long. He needs to start saying some words but other then that seems to be on target. I really thought I heard him say "bye-bye" and "nana" (banana) yesterday but I'm not 100% certain.

I was glad to see our regular pediatrican wasn't in today for some reason. So we saw another dr. We've seen her before and I really like her. She is sweet and doesn't make me feel like a bad mama. I've decided to catch up his vaccinations starting soon (he hasn't had any for the last 6 months). I just didn't like the idea of giving an 11 lbs baby so many shots. So we'll go next week and start catching up.

Tesfa is 1

Today my boy turns 1. It is hard to believe. I love him so much and am so blessed to be the mama who gets to be on the receiving end of sloppy kisses and even the crying fits.

Confession of an awful mom

Today I messed up something awful. I am only sharing this because I hope no one will ever be as stupid as I was today.

I went to BabiesRus to get a car seat for the little girl I take care of M,T,W. Tesfa and I found the seat right away and wondered around the store for a few minutes. When we got to the car I realized the car seat won't fit in the trunk, T is in the cart and the wind is blowing fiercely. The cart starts to roll away (just a few inches) before I grab it. I put Tesfa in the car to keep him from rolling away into the park lot. I take the car seat out of the box and toss it into the back seat. I break the box down and throw it into the trunk. And we are on our merry way. I call Joel and he can't talk because he is on the other line (Thank God). I turn and look back and am horrified to realize I did NOT strap Tesfa in. I was so worried about him blowing away and thought that I would not forget to go back and strap him in after I had gotten the car seat in the car.

I had just made it out of the parking lot and stopped at a red light when I realized what I had done. I put the car in park and turned my hazards on, waived to the guy who is now stuck because of me and secured T into his car seat. I waived again to the guy behind me who smiled realizing my child need something. I got back into the car and was shaking. I am upset and teary now thinking about how awful this could have been.

It was so stupid and I would have judged the hell out of a mom who told me she had done something like this.