Good Bye 2009

Well we survived it. 2009 is nearly over. I am hopeful that next year will be better. Although I have thought this for about 3 years.

2009 was hard but I am thankful for it. The wait, however painful, has allowed me to grow as a person. Hopefully it will make me a better mother. I have read a ton of books, blogs, and magazines. But the best info I have gotten is from The Tribe. I am forever thankful for my girls. They are brave enough to share the good and bad of parenting and adoption. They will make me a better parent and person.

I am thankful for the opportunity I have been given to get to know the local Ethiopian families. Christmas eve eve was great. Seleshi dropped by Joel's work with a token of appreciation for our photography services. That evening Megnot came by to pick up a c.d. of photos and Tiru came by with a thank you for doing her family photos. The gifts were great but I couldn't help but think how lucky we are to know them and have their friendship.

I, of course, am forever thankful to my husband. He really is such a good guy. I got to see him entertain AM at Tuba Christmas, get tackled by Christine's boys at IFIF, and run around and play with lots more of your children at this years gatherings. He will be a great father.

I hope that 2010 brings tears of joy for all of you.

EDIT: Almost forgot. I need to mention that I am so thankful for our families. When we said we were adopting from Ethiopia at first they were apprehensive. Now all they want to know is what is taking so long because they want their grandchild, niece/nephew, cousin, etc... home. My oldest niece 5.5 (going on 13) said to me on Christmas eve, " I wish my cousin were here". I said "me too". Then she said, "hopefully for next Christmas". We received travel books on Africa and lots of books, puzzles, and ornaments with african and african american children depicted. I am so thankful my family "gets it". While I am sure questions and issues will arise it's great to go into this with much support.

More ethical concerns

Australia as well as several other countries are halting Ethiopian adoptions according to PEAR (Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform).

http://pear-now.blogspot.com/2009/12/2009-ethiopia-adoption-program.html

Read this families story for more info:

http://urbanfunnyfarm.blogspot.com/2009/12/our-adoption-status.html

Not one ugly cry

Well I made it-Christmas & Birthday 2009 are over. Not one single ugly cry. That will probably come next year when, hopefully, I am looking at our son or daughter and thinking how blessed I am.

(blogging break provided by my neighbor girls-who needed snowballs thrown at them.)

I did come to the realization that I need to stop punishing myself for "wasting" my life for the last year and a half. Time to move on and stop dragging my feet while waiting. It's time to make a decision about going back to school (again).

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

On December 25th I will turn 33 years old. While I hope the crying stays to a minimum I make no gaurantees.

This is the birthday that was supposed to mark the completion of our family. Yes in my made up world that was to be oh so perfect I was to be done having kids by 33. Now I hope that we will have one before I reach 34.

I have asked friends to donate to EOR in lieu of b-day gifts.

http://ethiopianorphanrelief.org/

More Photos: Adoption Awareness Month

Ok, its a little late but better than never right???

Searching for Peace

This last week or so has seemed different. Not sure if it is good or bad or how long I will feel this way. I just don't think I can set one more date that the baby should be home and then watch it pass. I'm not sure if I have found peace with the wait or if I've given up.

This was posted on our agency forum:

I am sincerely sorry for everyone who has endured the endless delays of late. Waiting is grueling, which is only compounded when you don't know when or where the end will be. It cuts to the core.

What I am about to say does not change the hurt and the hard of the wait and it is in no way meant to belittle all of the emotions wrapped up in the wait.

Our wait is beautiful. We are waiting to say hello to our future. We are waiting with hope. Waiting with dreams of what will come and visions of family.

The families of our children are waiting to say goodbye. Waiting to kiss their cheek for a final time. To smell their sweet skin and whisper in their ears. They are waiting for loss. Loss that most of us will never have to bear.

And our children will wait too. They will wait for all that is known to return to them and yet it never will. They will wait to hear the whispers of those who love them again. Whispers they will never hear.

If children are not lingering in care. If the agencies we use are acting with haste and due care, then we should be at peace because a decision has not had to be made to say goodbye. There will be one more day. One more kiss. One more moment.

I wish I could go back in time and sit next to the important people in my daughters' lives and whisper in their ears. Just one more day. Give them one more day. Take your time. I will wait here as long as you ask me to.

May you find peace.

Thankful for the tribe

No not the Cleveland Indians.

Here are some of women in the Et mommy tribe.