I thought I was really well prepared for parenting. Afterall I worked in a daycare for 2 years. I changed 1,000's of diapers, wiped lots of noses and helped make boo boo's go away. So I find myself wondering why I'm struggling now. There is nothing that can prepare you for parenthood-nothing. Waking up every day to this beautiful little boy is a blessing, but it is exhausting. At first I had the basic struggles I imagine all parents have: how do I manage to go to the grocery store, why does it take me 45 minutes to go pick up a pizza and will I ever again eat a hot meal. Now the grocery store is manageable but not easy, I order delivery pizza most the time and no I will probably not eat a hot meal again.
But why lately does this seem so difficult? Tesfa is a great kid-truly. He is funny and smart and on target developmentally. It is hard because for 9 months I have never been away from him for more than a few hours. I mean when else do you spend every single day (12 + hours) with one person for months on end? Never!
Today he went to the Museum of Art with his daddy and I stayed home. I've had 2 hours to myself. The house is no longer completely embarassingly dirty (just the normal amount of dirty). I feel a little guilty complaining when in reality I have it pretty good. My husband is an awesome father but it bugs me when I think about the fact that he has never HAD to take Tesfa anywhere. He's never had a screaming kid in the store, had to feed him snacks while doing the grocery shopping or been screamed at for an entire day (at least not by the baby). Being a mama is hard work. I wouldn't change it for the world but a day off now and then should be mandatory.
3 comments:
Preach it sister- you will get no argument from me.
Over the weekends, when we're not doing things as a family, Casey and I take turns with Mamush. Usually we each take 3-4 hr shifts. Might sound crazy, but both of us absolutely need the breaks when we have them! (To get things done, and just to relax.) I don't know if this could be something that you guys do, too (or maybe you already do this), but I find it immensely helpful to have multiple blocks of time to myself on the weekend. We also take turns grocery shopping, so that we're both forced to deal with a whiney, difficult boy at times.
Btw, I owe you an email! I haven't forgotten...
Sending HUGS your way! You are an awesome mama and I love how you are so honest on your blog. I'm glad you got 2 hrs off.
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