Break time

I thought I was really well prepared for parenting. Afterall I worked in a daycare for 2 years. I changed 1,000's of diapers, wiped lots of noses and helped make boo boo's go away. So I find myself wondering why I'm struggling now. There is nothing that can prepare you for parenthood-nothing. Waking up every day to this beautiful little boy is a blessing, but it is exhausting. At first I had the basic struggles I imagine all parents have: how do I manage to go to the grocery store, why does it take me 45 minutes to go pick up a pizza and will I ever again eat a hot meal. Now the grocery store is manageable but not easy, I order delivery pizza most the time and no I will probably not eat a hot meal again.

But why lately does this seem so difficult? Tesfa is a great kid-truly. He is funny and smart and on target developmentally. It is hard because for 9 months I have never been away from him for more than a few hours. I mean when else do you spend every single day (12 + hours) with one person for months on end? Never!

Today he went to the Museum of Art with his daddy and I stayed home. I've had 2 hours to myself. The house is no longer completely embarassingly dirty (just the normal amount of dirty). I feel a little guilty complaining when in reality I have it pretty good. My husband is an awesome father but it bugs me when I think about the fact that he has never HAD to take Tesfa anywhere. He's never had a screaming kid in the store, had to feed him snacks while doing the grocery shopping or been screamed at for an entire day (at least not by the baby). Being a mama is hard work. I wouldn't change it for the world but a day off now and then should be mandatory.

Challenges

Sleep patterns are changing. What's the deal? He goes to bed around 8-8:30 and is getting up at 6. Ok not that bad I know. But he is so freaking tired and hour after he gets up. His morning nap was gone for about 2 weeka-because he didn't need it. Now his morning nap is earlier than before. He woke up from his afternoon nap in a complete panic. He was so tired he couldnt even open his eyes. You might think he was having an attachement issue or a bad dream or really just wanted his mama, right? NOPE. The first thing he wants whenever he wakes up is to be read to. Is that odd? I mean really he's screaming and panicked but doens't want cuddled-just read to. I really don't think it is an "attachment thing".

Also if that boy kicks me one more time while I'm changing his diaper my head will spin! I've changed 1,000's of diapers (truly) and I know kids do this but it is getting the best of me.

Work?

Today is one of those days where you think, Why didn't I go back to work? I feel like a padded room and little white jacket are in order. Lately Tesfa's naps have been shorter than normal and he is waking up earlier. Still a great improvement from months prior but I had gotten used to him waking up at 7:30am and enjoyed it greatly. He is also in this phase where he grabs my hand and takes me to whatever he wants me to see. I love this--most days-just not today.

The little girl I watch a couple days a week has been so extremely fussy today I don't even know what to do. My usual "tricks" are not working. She is about to get a new tooth and I am sure that is a big part of it. Trying so hard to be patient but completely losing my battle. Sigh.

I'm not sure who needs the soothing lullaby music more today me or the kids.

Where we are

Tesfa is doing remarkably well. Overall, despite his food and sleep issues, I feel like his/my transition was fairly simple (easy to say that now). He has been home for 9 months-can you believe it?

He jabbers all the time.
He says: Mama, Dada, Dog (when encouraged).
He signs more very well---and often
Walks like a pro and is starting to do stairs (gasp)
He eats like a horse. I am so scared for his teenage years.
He has six teeth.
My favorite new thing is that he grabs my hand and pulls me to whatever it is he wants to show me. Last week it was a boo-boo on the wall that he made me look at 100 times.
And his dance moves continue to improve and impress.
He knows his: head/hair, nose, eyes, elbow, knees, teeth, tongue, toes, ears and eyes.
He kisses the animals in his books and if we're lucky daddy and I get a few kisses too.

Our Friday went something like this...