Realization

Well it's really pretty obvious but I have come to the realization that we will not be able to have another child if I do not go back to work full-time. Having mixed emotions about this. Part of me looks forward to having a "regular" job with somewhat set hours. The thoughts of more freedom on the weekends seems nice (as opposed to photographing an event every weekend). As much as I'd love to stay home with T until he hits kindergarden I just don't think that is going to happen. I've went back and forth so many times on what makes someone a good mom. Of course, this was before I had a kiddo of my own (when we all know I was the best mother-pre child). I wondered why someone would give up a successful career "just" yes I said just to have kids. Then I wondered why on earth you would have them if you couldn't stay home. Now (post child) I realize you don't have to give up on either. That leaving the house everyday to earn a paycheck doesn't make you any better or worse of a mother. I want what is best for T. And worrying about money and worrying about being able to have another child isn't in his best interest.