Race doesn't matter

In the last few weeks I've been thinking about how naive I was (am). When we started the adoption process I wrote an email to the woman who would become our (first) social worker. I told her we wanted a baby and "race didn't matter". Because it didn't-at the time. What that comment really meant was that I would love a child regardless of their race. But race mattered very much-I just didn't know how much.

Before the shooting of Trayvon Martin I was worrying about Tesfa's identity. How do I teach him american history in regards to race and culture when that isn't his history? But how do I tell him about Ethiopian culture and heritage when he isn't living that day to day? Tesfa is an african american male who came from Ethiopia and trying to navigate how to make him aware of both cultures is going to be interesting (challenging).

But Post-Trayvon Martin's death is a whole new story. Now I worked with kids for years. 80% or more of them were black. I knew that racism existed but I had no idea to what degree. I keep seeing posts on facebook saying "race doesn't matter". Its' not their fault they don't know. Because we (white people) never really know--at least not until one of our kids is black and then we have to do everything we can to try to figure it out. I'll never really know. But I will do my best to understand.

Trayvon

I'm so upset by this case. I know most of my friends are as well. I mean, lets face it, most of my friends have black children and even black MALE children. I know a lot of people are sharing Trayvons story. But what upsets me the most is the people that attack me for being Pro-Choice- the people that are sitting here bitching about Obama and how is to blame for gas prices aren't saying a word about this. Because if they did it could lead to a conversations about stronger gun laws.

I'd like to share this on fb but I am trying to be a good ally and I'm not sure if this is detracting from Trayvon's story, but in the end maybe Trayvon's death could help keep another kid from being killed.

Unwanted-the tough questions begin

I knew one day-sorta soon-Tesfa would start to ask questions. We'll do our best to answer them as honestly and age appropriately as we can. I really thought that I had at least a year or two before this was going to leap into our lives.

I was however caught a little off guard by my now 5 year old nephew-A. We celebrated his birthday this past weekend and his mom and I were talking before the party. She said that A has started to ask really difficult questions. One day he asked about the death of his great grandmother. She answered as best as she could and tried to explain things so he would understand. A day or two later he started talking about his beloved cousin. "Who had him?" he asked. K, my sil, explained that there was a woman in Ethiopia that had given birth to him. And then my heart sunk as she told me his next question, " She didn't want him?". I know it is a very hard concept for children to understand but the hard part is knowing that T will be asked that question many more times or we will be asked in front of him. My heart aches for him to ever think he was unwanted.