Saying Goodbye

It's been a week since we saw Tesfa. Saying good bye to him was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. We had a great visit that day. He was alert and responsive more so then the day before. Someone came into the room and said, 'it's time to go'. I couldnt believe my time with him was ending. I hugged him tighter. Looked at this crazy hair some more and touched his soft curls. I told him that we would be back for him as soon as they would let us. I turned my back to everyone else who seemed to be doing much better then I was. I glanced at Joel and saw his eyes getting redder and tearing. I had to look away before I completely lost it.

The nanny had left the room and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to just set him down and walk out. After a few minutes and lots more tears I set him on the floor. We kissed him good bye. He looked at us and his lip began to quiver. I thought to myself if he cries I won't be able to leave. Just then he smiled at us. It felt like he was saying it was ok, he was going to be ok.

We walked outside where all the soon to be mommies and daddies were crying and hugging each other. It broke my heart to leave him. I can't wait to find out when we can bring him home. We returned from Ethiopia two days ago and I'd give anything to go back, now.