I just read another blog and she posted about seeing some racist bumper stickers plastered all over a truck while she was with her son. It seems that I see or hear something almost everyday that raises my awareness of how hard it will be for my son/daughter.
I was driving home a while back and saw a bumper sticker that absolutely outraged me. It read, " Welcome to America, now learn to speak english". I was so furious.
Then last week my beloved sister-in-law asked me about making a quilt for the baby. My brother thought she should ask me if the design was ok. I saw it. I loved it. BUT After much debate I had to ask her to change it up a bit. So instead of having 9 totally cute adorable monkey's on it it will have 3 hippos, 3 elephants, and 3 monkeys. It will be adorable. It was the cutest quilt out of a 100+ patterns I saw. Joel thought I was overreacting a bit.
THEN the very next day without me saying a word... A girl was telling me and another girl about a racist friend. The short version of it is that he had taught his 4 year daughter to refer to African's and African-American's as porch monkeys. And this little girl, without knowing how wrong it was, did what she was told when out in public. The girl telling the story kinda laughed while telling it as if to say it is so ridiculous and awful that it is almost funny. I told her it made me sick and I wanted to cry then walked away.
How can anyone teach their child such awful hateful things?
The next time someone tells me what a wonderful thing I am doing for a child I will think of this story.
2 comments:
Hey, welcome to the learning curve! It's imperative that we take things seriously - so good job! One of the experiences you'll encounter is that things we, as majority white people NEVER EVER have to think about (monkey's for example) are part of the ways our child will encounter racism. It's right to be worried and to work at being the BEST ally you can be. Keep up the good reflections and keep your voice strong.
Hi, i just found your blog and couldn't help respond because of the last word of your title: worried. be annoyed and saddened but don't be worried. i'm white , my husband is black we have a six year old bio son and are adopting from ethiopia (yipee!)
Don't be worried, do what you are already doing; paying attention to the messages (monkeys, etc) and be aware he will see/hear things differently from you. then focus on the positive. most people are truly wonderful and while the 10% that are really scary and hateful can make like annoying and sad they shouldn't overwhelm you.
your child will have some big advantages from a multi-cultural, multi-racial life. it will be hard too, but you already are showing what a great mom you will be!
good luck with everything! and don't let the worry stop you from celebrating all the great things about becoming a parent!
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